Hello everyone. Praise the Lord!
MUST WIVES ALWAYS OBEY THEIR HUSBAND?
Let's examine some of the husbands and wives as recorded in the law.
Peter cites Sarah as a model wife whose worthy example Christian wives could follow. "Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement''' (1 Peter 3:6).
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It is possible to lift this one verse out and say, "See, the wife is to obey her husband just as Sarah obeyed Abraham." But does it mean the wife doesn't have any right to speak her own mind? Some would leave the impression the wife never has a right to express her thoughts, that she's under the rule — the obedience — the domination — and is nothing much more than a slave. But that isn't what Peter is saying.
Let's see what the law says: GENESIS 16:5,6
5 And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee:
I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the Lord judge between me and thee.
6 But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.
Here we see Abram letting Sarai have her own way. He isn't dominating her like some warlord.
From the 16th chapter of Genesis through the 21st, there is an account of a disagreement. At its climax, we see that Abraham gave in to his wife's contention, and let her have her own way. And we see that God justified not him, but her.
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GENESIS 21:10-12
10 Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bond- woman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.
11 And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son.
12 And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bond- woman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.
God told Abraham, one time at least, to listen to his wife. According to this, Sarah ruled her husband on this occasion. And God approved of it. As He always does when a wife is right. God always approves of right.
Some ministers, Full Gospel, Spirit filled, I'm ashamed to say, have told me a woman ought to do whatever her husband says, no matter what. They have told me personally that if the husband tells his wife to sleep with another man, she ought to do it, because the Bible says for her to obey him. That is an insult to my intelligence. God will never side in with wrong. And that would be violating one of His Ten Commandments.
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One fellow said to me, "If a husband asks his wife to drink with him, she ought to drink with him. If he wants her to go to the bar, she should go." Another man said, "If an unsaved husband tells his wife not to go to church, she's not to go. If he tells her not to read the Bible, she's not to read it. She is to obey him to the letter."
(These things have been said to me personally — I'm not talking about what somebody comes to me and says somebody said. You can understand that these opinions have created no little confusion.)
I say in reply, "Bosh and tommyrot!"
Peter gave Sarah as an example. Let's take it then. When Sarah was right, God sided in with her. God is not going to side in with the husband when the husband is wrong any more than He will side in with the wife when she is wrong.
Thank God for good wives! They don't need to be put down. Oh, I know there are some bossy wives, but if their husbands don't know how to take care of them, let them go ahead and be henpecked! You see, it is the husband's problem. There's no use in downgrading all wives because of a few exceptions. And it is the responsibility of the husbands to take care of that — not the responsibility of the preachers.
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If a man wants to be henpecked, it's his business and no one else's. I have no more business trying to manage another man's wife than I have managing some other fellow's money. We can lay down principles, of course. But I think there are some men who rather enjoy being henpecked. If they do — let them enjoy it. I don't like it myself.
Yet I respect my wife, and I respect her opinion. Once she had to put her foot down and speak up to me. God had dealt with me back in 1947 and '48 about leaving the pastorate and going out in a field ministry. He had spoken to me about healing and had given me some instructions about ministering to the sick. It was the burden of my heart.
But I made a mistake. I went to the wrong meeting. (You can make a mistake sometimes going to the wrong church, the wrong convention, or the wrong meeting.) It was a midwinter prayer and Bible conference. Almost every person who preached spoke against healing meetings. And at the last, the man who stood at the head ventured to say that just one person shouldn't pray for the sick — just one individual shouldn't lay hands on them — everyone should pray and lay hands on them, and then when God healed them He'd get all the glory.
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Everything I heard downgraded me. I can understand how women must feel at times — they've gone to church, been put down, and wished they hadn't gone. After two or three days, I went back home. My resignation had already been submitted, and my wife had been packing while I was away.
"Just unpack," I said, "We're not going."
"You're not?"
"No, I'm not. The church wants me to stay and I'll stay. And another thing — from this moment on, I'm never going to pray for the sick again. I'll never lay hands on another person the longest day I live. If someone insists on being anointed with oil, I'll get the deacons to come and anoint him."
My wife could see that I was out of sorts. "No!" she said. "We're not going to stay with this church." I was taken aback. She'd never acted like that in her life. And she hasn't acted that way since. But she needed to act that way on this occasion, and God sided in with her.
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"No — I'm not going to unpack," she said. "And yes — we are going to leave this church. And yes — you are going to obey God. That's what you're going to do!"
I stood there speechless. She didn't ordinarily talk like that. But, to tell the truth about it, if she'd let me rule over the situation, we'd have both been in a mess. She was right. And she put a little vigor into me. I went ahead and obeyed God.
Sarah ruled over her husband in the situation we read about — and God approved of it. My wife ruled over me on this occasion — and God approved of it. God always sides in with right. He will never take the part of wrong. If He did, then He would be wrong.
Did you notice, too, that Sarah did not suffer in silence and servile subjection, but spoke her mind as she had a right to do "as also saith the law." It is recorded in the Pentateuch.
The first chapter of First Samuel records that when Hannah, the mother of Samuel, had a little difference with her husband, she spoke her mind and had her way. It proved out to be God's way.
Abigail was a wise woman whose husband was a fool. (There are some cases like that.) The Bible calls him a "son of Belial." By disobeying her husband, she saved a critical situation and won the favor of David. If she'd listened to her husband, there would have been much bloodshed.
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1 SAMUEL 25:32,33
32 And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me:
33 And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand.
Read the whole story from your Bible and notice that God is standing on the side with Abigail — even though she disobeyed her husband.
It is not a sane argument that every wife must always obey her husband in everything.
